The Cracks in Her Crystal Palace
by Trivial Pursuit
Summary: Hermione Granger believed those of the XY tendencies were far more trouble then they were worth.


**Author's Note: This sprung out of me noticing that Hermione seems to have mostly antagonistic or pseudo-maternal relationships with the men in her life and that most of the men she has positive relationships with leave her in some way. This is in no way meant to offend men, it is just me venting off some (actually a lot of) accumulated irritation.**

**Lewis Carroll is known to have frequently stated his dislike of boys, though he does not state any clear and compelling reason for it, thus Hermione's dislike of boys is _Carrollian_.**

**Disclaimer: I will own _Harry Potter_ when pigs fly.**

** *Author's Legal Representation would like to say that the Author makes this statement under the assumption that porcine flight is an impossibility and is not responsible in the case of actual flying swine.**

After all, stupid men are the only ones worth knowing.

- Elizabeth Bennet, _Pride and Prejudice_

Hermione Granger believed those of the XY tendencies were far more trouble then they were worth. This belief was ironic, considering she had surrounded herself with them, though this rather singularly gendered social group may have some contribution as to why Hermione found herself frequently wishing she lived with the Amazons of Myth. Hermione didn't dislike men because they were _men_, _per se_, but rather because they were unpredictable, irrational, and, more often then not, cruel. They made her entire gender an embarrassment once everyone hit puberty, then promptly took your heart and crushed it to dust (No, Hermione wasn't bitter, not at all). It had, on occasion, occurred to her that her dislike was rather Carrollian, though she brushed this thought off, saying that her motivations were justified (Well they were in her head, and that's _really_ all that counts) and far less creepy.

This rather strong opinion had been conceived when Kevin Ryan pushed her off the swing when she was six, her parents' broken and repeatedly 'fixed' marriage and her father's serial infidelity only reaffirmed this view. Hermione had only started to really have feelings of disgust for males in her first year of Hogwarts when Ron (Though he was, by Hermione's own admission, not the best representative of his sex) shunned her and treated her cruelly simply because she was intelligent, tried _really_ hard, and took pride in her work, whenever this happened Harry just clammed up and refused to take either side. Draco Malfoy didn't help his gender's esteem in her eyes either. Fourth year only brought an intensification of her disgust, from the way every male spent their time drooling over Fleur Delacour to the Great Krum Debacle, her level of respect and tolerance was significantly depleted. By the time the end of the War rolled around she no longer respected Men as a whole and had little remaining patience for Women.

Hermione only married Ron because that's what was expected of her; to marry Ron, forfeit her career, shelve her ambitions, squeeze out as many screaming, mannerless, ginger brats as possible, and pretend to be happy while really being about as cheery as a Tennessee Williams character (Mrs. Weasley was good at hiding things but Hermione wasn't stupid). So she settled, she did what was expected of her. What else could she do? All the men she had even a shred of respect for were dead or happily attached to someone else; Fred, Sirius, Bill, Viktor (Unattached, but he lived in _Bulgaria_), Remus (Both dead and attached), Charlie (He wasn't _actually_ attached but he was practically married to his dragons), Percy, Mad-Eye, Oliver (Also not technically unavailable, but, if scuttlebutt was to be believed, his Quidditch groupies were keeping him quite _occupied_), Cedric. It was like the world was conspiring against her happiness and after a while she got the message loud and clear and just stopped trying.

She never told anyone how she felt, they'd most likely tell her she was bigoted and look down on her. So when her daughter asked whether all men were a disappointment after a bad first date she lied.

'No dearest, one day you'll find that one person.' Hermione was lying through her teeth and it made her sick.

'Like you and Daddy?' Hermione gave a tight smile but made no response. If her children ever knew of the their mother's feelings (or lack thereof) for their father they never let on. Ron was her Mr. Collins, her Tom Buchanan. These comparisons made her laugh hollowly. When Hermione was younger she'd always thought she'd be Elizabeth or Jordan Baker, now it turned out she was Charlotte Lucas and Daisy Buchanan of all people. Of course this implied that she had some Darcy or Gatsby hidden away, but among the things she had given up on was love.

Despite the torturing, killing and endless pain she had caused, Hermione had always admired Bellatrix Lestrange, not the insanity and mindless worship, but the power she wielded. Hermione had never told anyone this, yet there it stood. The late Madame Lestrange had not let herself be bogged down in the same patriarchal bullshit and societal expectations that the Molly Weasleys, Narcissa Malfoys, and Hermione Grangers of the world let themselves drown in. She had overcome them, making herself an equal and peer to the men she surrounded herself with, nay surpassing the men, becoming the best of the best. She became famous, and better yet, she became _notorious_; not for her brains or beauty or any other quality, but for something she'd _done_. Hermione had never _done_ anything in her life, she'd just followed the pack. Followed what her friends were doing, followed what her teachers were doing, done what she'd been told without question, like some sort of mindless lemming. She disgusted herself.

When she had her daughter she found herself hoping she was a fool, not that she was unintelligent, on the contrary, she wanted her daughter to be smarter than Einstein, simply that she was foolish enough to never see the truth that had ruled her mother's life with an iron grip. As she sat, waiting for her daughter to bring home her latest boyfriend, staring at her husband with a well disguised contempt, Hermione decided she hoped the same thing for the new boy. Stupid Men can never disappoint because you don't have any expectation of them doing anything else.

All right... I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool- that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.

- Daisy Buchanan, _The Great Gatsby_


End file.
